I am

I am an ultra-runner.

It sounds like a confession, at a self-help group.  And recently that is how it has made me feel.

I need to stop being apologetic or ‘embarrassed’ to admit it in ‘public’…that’s the general public, not those in the ultra-family.

It’s hard.  It doesn’t always feel normal.  But then who defines what is normal?

Why should it feel this way, or why do I sometimes make myself feel this way about it?

I should feel proud.  In the grand scheme of things, my achievements are minor compared to some of my friends (see James Stewart for starters).  But for a 40-something girl, I’ve run a pretty long way, in a not too bad time, on more than one occasion.  And deep down I am proud.

Yet it still sometimes feels weird. Or like it wasn't really me.

I’m not writing this post to get loads of people praising my achievements; it’s more just an offload of being, of feeling, a little bit beyond ‘normal’.

I’m part of a great Scottish ultra community.  I love being Scottish and I love to run, to be able to run.  It’s a privilege to be able to run across and around our country and see views first hand that many will never see.  To be part of an ever growing group, the heart of which is full of genuinely awesome people who will travel far and wide, to sit up mountains, in laybys, and huddle in tents in all weathers, for a fleeting glimpse of a runner they know, and those they don’t, to ring cow-bells, rattle stones in tin mugs, to “woo-hoo”, wear fancy dress and take pictures, to share in those sweaty, muddy, tear-filled moments of success and despair, with hugs, and words of comfort (or to MTFU).

‘Normality’ for so many is different from that.  It may be about fashion, or kids, or music, movies, books, baking……  I don’t fit into their normality (“What did you do at the weekend?” / “Ran 30 miles around the trails in Glencoe…and wild-camped in the van”).  But then they don’t fit into mine.  Not all the time, anyway.

And I want to be an ultra-runner.  I want to be a better ultra-runner.  So I need to focus and make some changes. 

This doesn’t stop me wanting to be a better wife (there is room for improvement!) or better at my job (where I am good at doubting how and what I can achieve).  These are both vitally important to sustain a happy and fulfilled life.

Maybe I can make a bigger impact with the desire to be a better runner though.

Again, see James Stewart as an example.  With the focus and commitment he has put in, the rewards have come.  Dedication and following a plan.  Making time to deliver on all the components, and (what seems like) doing this without compromise. (Note, I have no expectations of ever being that successful!)

I compromise too often.  And make excuses.

‘One chocolate won’t hurt’, or one slice of pizza.  That’s my blurring into the other view of normality.  Sometimes to avoid standing out.

This year has been a slippery slope.  I missed out on securing a place at what I wanted to be my “A” race.  It was devastating.  It still hurts.  More so because, having pinned my expectations on one goal, I missed out on a chance to enter the WHW again.  This turn of events will mean the cycle continues next year, pinning hopes on one ballot, and sacrificing the opportunity to enter the other.

And it affected my focus.  And discipline.  I let things slide and the focus on maintaining my fitness and weight slipped after the Fling.

I wanted to go to the Alps in good shape, but something ate away (or I ate to many somethings) and actually this became logic for being ‘ok’ not having a race place.  I was/am in no shape to run the CCC this year.

I had a great trip, and saw friends achieve great success.  Next year, and the years ahead, for other races, I want that to be me.  (And for UTMB next year to change the finishers gilet to a nicer design!)

This is going to need me to stop blurring the boundaries too often.  To build my training plan, and to add the discipline and respect back into what I put into my body.  To get back to the strength training, the yoga/pilates, and the cross-training.  To stop being ‘embarrassed’ to say why I don’t want another cocktail, another slice of pizza, or a whole bag of Haribo to myself….

I am an ultra-runner.  And this is what I want to be.

The Devil Came Down to Tyndrum

Photo by Fiona Rennie

The Devil came down to Tyndrum, he was looking for a soul to steal...

 

 

The Devil O' The Highlands was my first ultra...way back in 2012, when, for years it had been on a wee bucket list I had, and I managed to complete it, having over-come being more over-weight, and with a dodgy knee (physio told me I'd never be able to run long distances (at the time suggesting half-marathons were a long distance)).

 

I ran it in 2012, 2013 and 2014 (the latter as part of the triple crown) and at that point said I'd no intention of running it again.  That was until Johnny Fling took over as Race Director, and changed some of the fundamentals - the need for support crew and the fabulous new finish.  Last year I worked as part of the race crew, doing post-event massage.  And then a wee spark ignited in my soul and I knew I wanted to have another go!

 

 

I was lucky enough to get through the manic online entry (I can't remember how quickly the race sold out, but it was quick!) and after making many loose promises that I'd be lighter, fitter and better trained, found race day cam around all too quickly.

 

 

The short version of the report is that I had a lovely day, running on what is without doubt, some of the most spectacular trail we have in this country. 

 

Position 155 / 256 (9th F40+ not counting older F)

Time 9hr 13m 13s

Winner of a fabulous spot prize!

 

Clark and I drove up on the Friday night, just in time to cosy up for a good nights sleep.  Interestingly someone nearby was having some sort of 'soft rock' garden party so that was our bedtime lullaby...

 

Before long it was alarm time, porridge, coffee, kit....faff...."oh shit, registration shuts in 15 mins"....  Hey ho... Made it!

 

The rain started just before the race briefing....pretty proper vertical rods...  Change of clothes...waterproof on...

 

Round to the race start...rain off....jacket off.... thank god I did that!  Didn't put it back on all day, despite various showers etc.  It stayed pretty warm and humid, and the combination of x-bionic kit including arm sleeves which I rolled up/down as needed, was just spot on!

 

The plan was to start slow.  The reality was almost that, although some chatting with Lorna Maclean and Andy O Grady was good to distract me and just get things going.

Photo by Monument Photos

 

Into Bridge of Orchy 1hr 8m and 205th position. 

 

Feeling pretty good.  Some cheery "Hello"'s and a top up of water and tailwind and off...up jelly baby hill (with no Murdo and no jelly babies, since it wasn't WHW race day!)

 

The climb felt pretty fine, but I lost some ground on the descent...perhaps a little cautious (I've seen many people stumble on that bit!), and then I really didn't have any love on the tarmac to Forest Lodge.

 

Across Rannoch Moor I made a concerted effort to try harder to run more than I usually do...and it felt good! 

 

Into Glencoe 3hrs 24m (2hr 16m for the section) and into 193rd (186th for section).

 

Super efficient drop bag set up at Glencoe (I managed to pour tailwind all over Sharon Law (oops)), and a bonus surprise of seeing Clark and Cori (they'd run up and down the Devil's Staircase already).  I scoffed some of a fruit pot and some rice pudding I think and then off I went again, trying to tuck in with Lorna and John Maclean (who I had just found out were planning to run back to Tyndrum when they finished the race!)

 

This next wee section is daft - no need for the path to wind up the slope the way it does, and the trail could do with some repair.  Also it's playing on your mind that the staircase is almost upon you.  I passed a guy running in what are essentially flip flops here...and later found out it was Mike from Tailwind (doh!).  I was trying hard to think of a conversation starter that didn't relate to 'WTF have you got on your feet' as I trotted behind him for a while in my super sized Hoka Speedgoats!

 

I'd hoped to feel a bit stronger on the climb, but it didn't really happen that way.  I kept my head focused and just kept pushing on as much as I could, without catching or being caught.

 

Photo by Monument Photos

Monument Photos and Fiona/Pauline Rennie were all at the top taking pics - and ooft, were the views stunning!  The clag had lifted thankfully and I was blessed to be up there with this all around me!

 

I love the next section round the back of the staircase, until the steep descent into Kinlochleven and the isolation is spectacular.  Played leapfrog back and forth with a few people and then it was down down down into KLL.

 

Into KLL 5hr 51m (173rd), 2hr 27 (section, 160th)

 

More super efficient drop bag support from the team of volunteers...and a swap of some custard for a Snickers and some Haribo...ha ha!

 

Managed to pretty much miss Clark here.  He was parked up along the road a wee bit and by that point I was back in focused race head, so gave him a guilty wave, a thumbs up, and got stuck into the climb. 

 

Again, the climb not my best moment, with a bit of a sweat-fest, a strop of finding somewhere to put my wedding ring to keep it safe after wrestling to get my headphones and phone connected and busting the plastic bag everything was safe in from the start.

 

I found the first stretch across Lairig a struggle too, although I think I passed a handful of people with a hike / shuffle strategy.  Ate the Snickers and some chocolate coffee beans and that eventually saw a wee burst back into life, and, after passing Dave H just before the 'corner', I got my focus on the awesome hug I was going to get from Angela who was marshalling at Lundavra.  And it didn't disappoint!

 

Into Lundavra 7hr 41m (159th), 1hr 50m (section, 118th)

My position for that section suggests perhaps I was right to find the struggle across Lairig as I must've been pushing on quite well.

 

Quaffed some luscious cola, said hello to "that famous Norma Bone" and then head screwed on for the final stretch....and the unknown of the 'new' finish!

 

I felt pretty decent along to the top of the fire road and passed some more bodies.  Really struggled on the fire road descent though as my quads were burning and my feet and ankles really hurting.  Couldn't catch the guy in front, and got passed by a guy flying down the rack (like I normally feel I can!). 

 

Into Braveheart and onto the new final section and I got a wee extra wind for the climb and passed them both!

 

I loved this new addition to the route.  A great improvement on the tarmac section.  I could hear the sound of the finish area and got my stride on for the final descent.  Pushing into the finish (behind my rough '9 hour' goal) there was a great crowd and plenty of cheering!

 

Fort William 9hr 13m (155th), 1hr 32m (132nd)

 

Huge smiles and all done!  Big hug from Johnny Fling and lots of confusion from me as he was asking my sock size and thrust a bag full of gels/race fuel and 6, yes 6! pairs of Injinji socks!  Woohooo!!  I never win anything!!  And then a race goody bag with medal, t-shirt, sticker for the van!

 

More hugs from Helen (and some support with holding stuff, directing me to go get food/sit/text the boy (missed me as I was late....)).  Ruth Howie brought me a lovely cup of tomato soup and some bread!

 

The post race marquee is exceptional - a choice of beverages (no soft drinks?), range of soups, hot dishes...for a girl who loves food but has no brain cells left it's a lot of decisions to make!

 

Getting showered seemed to take me an eternity.  Getting clothes on and off is like an unfathomable challenge at that stage!  Finally I got organised, dumped my bag in the van, and shuffled back to say some hello's and well dones in the marquee, before heading back down the road (via the Real Food Café for fish, chips and curry sauce of course!) to a sofa coma (missing the post-race party again!), and a restless sleep trying to work off the copious sugar and caffeine I been pumping into my body all day!

 

Sunday and Monday I was more sore than I remember being after a race for a LONG time!  and my ankles are still a bit tender today!

 

Pretty happy with how I did though, and hopefully another notch in my brain of 'get your ass back into regular training and looking after yourself or next year ain't going to get any easier!)

 

Great event and one I highly recommend!  Well done Team Devil - once again you were exceptional!

 

 



Great Glen Race Report

 

Photo by Team BAM

I didn't deserve to have a good run at the Great Glen Ultra last Saturday.....training, let's just say had been more miss than hit since the Fling at the end of April.  The wall planner was filling up with big red crosses instead of green ticks!  And what started as a well earned rest and recovery, turned into a busy period at work, where I seemed to be away every week for at least a day, and usually overnight, and inevitably involving early mornings, late nights and over-indulgence (even if just of the coffee and cake variety).   



Photo by Gordon

Yes, I know I should be stronger and avoid some of these things which are in my control, but sometimes my control button isn't there, and I guess that's when the training 'obsession' slips back into an 'eating' one.

And before I knew it, there was the small matter of pacing my sister-in-law around The Strathearn Marathon mid-June (which I've never got round to blogging about, but did in a successful sub-5 hour time, which she was rightly delighted about for her first every marathon!), and then rest before crewing for John at WHW Race (see previous blog), and then taper/recovery to be in some sort of shape for GGU.

I didn't know much about the route, having only managed to get a training run on the last 38 miles or so from Fort Augustus one sunny weekend at the end of May, and that let me know how tough the climbs in those latter stages were going to be!  I'd been told by many that it was 'beautiful' and 'as hard as the WHW' but even that hadn't scared me enough to commit as I should have to the training I would like to be sitting here saying I had done.

So, that aside, and with a sufficient amount of last minute prep (booking campsite on the day) etc I finally packed myself and enough kit and food into Danny (d'Vito) and headed up the A9 to Inverness on Friday afternoon.  This, as an unsupported race, was to be a solo trip.  There are no support crew or outside assistance allowed in the race, and this would be easier if Clark stayed home (and besides which the forecast was for peeing rain all weekend, which doesn't make for pleasant support duties!)

I got to the campsite about 4:30pm and had some food, and tried to settled down for a couple of hours sleep.  My mind was racing, and in one of my toss-and-turns I noticed that Fiona Rennie and Pauline Walker were setting up camp next door (in the peeing rain!).  At about 8-ish I got up and decided to have some more food...to ensue I reached the start line fuelled up, and in the hope that my body rid itself of some of the contents before the 1am start time.  This is not an easy time to start a race!  I understand why it's the case, but it's not easy to get your body into the rhythm that it needs to run in the middle of the night (it's not something I ever practice!)

The buses were due to take us from Inverness sports centre at 9:30pm sharp.  Inevitably, someone was late, and he rushed on board at about 9:40, apologising profusely.  I had a front seat in the small bus....I get travel sick so being in the front is better, albeit the journey along the twisty roads to Fort William was never going to be great.  And it wasn't!  I tried to sleep to no avail, and I think the driver successfully hit every pothole in his path!

I think it took about an hour and a half to get to The Moorings Hotel, where we bundled off the bus, were cajoled into getting our drop bags into the correct areas, and then sent off to register, handing in the medical forms in return for our number, and some words of encouragement from Ada and Alice.

Now the wait....

I sat with a bunch of very accomplished runners....Mike Raffan, Jenni RJ, Lorna & John Maclean, Alan Cormack.....and tried to stay calm.  My belly was still very full, and my head still spinning from the bus...

We were heckled outside at about 12:30pm and walked across the canal to the start line.  It was pretty chilly at this point, and I wondered if starting without a jacket was a wise move.  I was wearing my salomon skort and vest (the chaffing from which caused me no end of grief later in the race), my purple WHW ronhill tshirt, xbionic arm sleeves, thin gloves, new drymax socks, Compressport calf sleeves and my speedgoats.  I did have a skip cap on but had to change it due to needing to wear a head torch, so just a buff around my head.

Bill conducted the usual style of briefing...don't fall in the canal (it looked bloody cold and deep), don't try to swim the canal if the swing bridge is open at the finish, look out for each other....and I don't remember much else apart from the lame joke....What do you call a man with one foot in the house and one outside the house?  Hamish.....

I was really nervous now.  And we had about 10 mins to shuffle on the spot, waiting for the start...  And then the countdown and we were off.

Whoooosh everyone shoots off up the canal path...slight incline, easily runable, and not really that dark (I turned my torch down to low and was never sure whether it ever got truly dark, or the sun was already coming up).  I was conscious I wanted to start conservatively (and my stomach was still full, and achy, and my calves, Achilles and feet seemed unnecessarily sore) so I watched as everyone went ahead...people I would usually run with, and I let them all go.  I'm also not used to running so much...what I mean is that the first 6 miles are all flat canal....I'm used to run a bit, walk some hills etc etc

At the end of the canal, I get into rhythm with Donna Leslie, and chum her for  a wee while (and through the spooky woods).  She was running well, and I was sorry to hear later that day she had dropped out.  Getting to checkpoint 1 at about 10 miles, Mike (Adams of BaM) asked how I was doing and I moaned a bit..."slowly slowly catchy monkey" he said, and I kept that mantra certainly for the first half/two-thirds of the race.  I topped up my bottles with Tailwind but didn't eat much of the bag contents (left my croissant behind) and carried a wee bag of bits with me to nibble on, including my Ella's baby banana brekkie which as a last minute purchase served me well during a few checkpoints this race (as it has done in the past...I really must try to remember each time what works best!)

I turned off my torch on the next section and settled into a more comfortable rhythm, and a toilet break final making other stuff feel better.  As the day lightened I did start to pass people and that improved how I was feeling.  The rain got heavier, but I didn't feel cold, so I just kept the same layers on and kept on with moving forwards.

Bill (of BaM) was at checkpoint 2, singing a poor rendition of the Rainbow theme tune...just to keep us amused.  Similar story with the bag contents, and a quick transition as it was peeing down.  There was a big climb out of the checkpoint (I think I passed comment here, and again after Invergarry, that I thought someone had said the first 30 miles were all flat....clearly I should pay more attention!).  We didn't head where I thought the route went here, so that kept me pondering...especially when we appeared at Invergarry and went left and then up another sneaky wee trail I never knew was there....

The section before Fort Augustus was an unexpected lull.  I was actually falling asleep on my feet (I was trying to convince myself I was having "micro naps" and they would do me good...as long as I didn't fall in the canal!)....and I was starting to get chaffing where ladies don't want chaffing, and this was not pleasant so early on in the race.  The bike marshal guy appeared and we were having a nice we chat...and he asked did I need anything?  Just Sudocrem was my answer!  And while he didn't manage to magic that, he did find some Vaseline in his first aid bag, so I had an impromptu fumble canal side and that eased the issue for the time being!  I think the damage was already too badly done by this stage though!

I arrived into Fort Augustus along with Lois, and was greeted by Ada, Terry and Beardy (Graeme Kelly, who was spectating Katie).  Ada skilfully filled my bottled...more Tailwind, and I think I had my Starbucks Espresso Double Shot can (or half of it) here.  I knew the climbs were coming.  And I was glad!

I left just ahead of Lois, and for the rest of the day we were pretty much in eyesight for most of the time and she looked to be having a brilliant run.

I loved the climb up out of FA, and felt stronger than on the day I had reccied it (it had been way hotter that day).  The views from the top are stunning, and the path doesn't relent.  I could see Katie Hall way ahead, a vision of purple, and it wouldn't be until just at the Invermoriston checkpoint I would catch her (she flew down the killer descent like a wee mountain goat, while I cursed and thumped!).  I kept reminding myself I wasn't as fit as I would've liked and therefore the aim should be to enjoy and get to the end!

At Invermoriston, Helen and John had the tunes going and a no nonsense approach to get you in and out.  Hugs administered (I remember telling Helen I was stinking, which I was).  Bottles were filled, along with a warning that I wasn't drinking enough.  Food was told to be eaten.  Rubbish was segregated for recycling.  My 'excess' baggage (map, head torch, waterproof trousers) were taken to be sent back to the finish line.  And I was politely told to get the feck out of the checkpoint.  So I did!  Again Lois left with me and we walked for a short while onto the next big climb.  I think I was munching a wee bag of 'fish & chips' crisps as I went.

There was a slightly different route than I'd done in my trial taking us up onto the High Route here but it was well signed, as was the whole route...I was surprised (other than the wee bit on the first section into the spooky woods) to hear later that a few folk had got lost.  The bit I wasn't looking forward to was after the Troll Bridge, where the climb is just stupid!  And it didn't disappoint.  However, with a couple of applauding tourists at the top, I had to just keep moving!  Eventually the path joins onto the 'low route' and I remember it was getting pretty warm by this stage and I was feeling a bit of another lull.  I also caught up with John Maclean (like from Die Hard, only tougher) and Pauline Walker along here, and thought that if I could just try and hang onto their heels for a while that would hopefully pull me along.  We ended up in a wee group of 5 or 6 and that really helped keep me moving, and although I wasn't contributing much to the chat, it was a steady pace and good company, and Pauline was good with keeping us thinking it wasn't far to the water station.  And soon, we happened upon Angela and Brin, a luxurious oasis of water, face wipes, hugs and jelly babies to help us on our way!

And then as I followed Pauline away from the checkpoint, on came the rain again, fiercely beating down.....I think she paused to put on sleeves or a jacket and I got ahead for a while, with my head down just trying to march on.  The shower soon passed, and by the last stretch to Drumnadrochit checkpoint I was roasting again!  Pauline, John etc caught me here.

I was desperate for Sudocrem again and none was to be had.  So I tipped out my drop bag while Karen OGrady topped up my water and Tailwind.  I don't think I ate much.  I recall someone trying to lift my crisps, so I had to put him right, and it wasn't until I left the checkpoint I realised I'd not eaten/taken my Ella's baby food pouch and wonder if someone snaffled that while I wasn't looking.  I took my wee bag with mini sausage roll, mini scotch egg in it and think I ate them on the trot along the road.  By this point, my pack pockets were stuffed with random bits I'd not eaten, including my fruit/nut biscuits which had been working well in training!  Don't know why I just didn't feel like eating them.

I tried to hang in with Pauline on the road section.  It was hot and flat and seemed to go on forever.  Seemed rude to walk this when it was so runable, but we both mentioned looking forward to the turn onto the trail when we could justify a walk!  We caught Andy OGrady here and chummed with him for most of the rest of the course.  And also passed Helen, who was setting off for her training run.  I remember thinking who is this young girl clearly just starting a run, ponytail bobbing along.....and then realised it was Helen!

HUGE climb ensued, and wasn't nice.  I think I warned Pauline and Andy that I might start saying some bad words...the REALLY bad ones, and Pauline said 'we'll just say oh deary me'....'hmmm....oh VERY deary me' maybe!!  And I did try very hard not to descend into bad language...I may have said a couple of F***s at the top though.  Another younger guy joined us on this climb, and for maybe a mile into the more open track that follows.   He was chattering away quite the thing (I wasn't in any state to be very responsive), and made me chuckle when he asked Pauline if she'd done many ultra's....  "This is number 87" she says.....tee hee hee....

I was starting to need another toilet stop.....and dreading it, knowing how the chaffing was.....just before the final checkpoint and I could wait no longer and had to dive into the undergrowth.  Holy ****, that stung.  Actual tears and more pain than, well who knows what, it was just bloody sore!  More lube next time!!

Jenni and Fiona were manning this checkpoint (still no Sudocrem or Vaseline) and again, offered support, an extended stay if wanted, but I knew I had to move on.  Pauline departed (post beer) with a wave and 'you'll catch me soon enough', and I knew that if I could it would really help, so I pushed on, and caught her and Andy in the hippy cafe woods (through the tunnel designed for midgets!)

This team was to serve us well for the next stretch along the road and up into the final woods, each taking a wee turn with a motivational push, and keeping the train rolling.  We were starting to speculate about our finish....if we all crossed the line together, how would BaM decide the order (coin tossing (wouldn't work with 3), sprints and hurdles had been mentioned in the race notes....it's a race, not a hand holding competition!!).

I'm not sure quite where we pulled away from Andy on the long section through the woods, but we lost him somewhere,  and had a good 'speed' on at this point ("at the middle of the end" said Pauline). We thought we had less than 4 miles to go, when we happened upon John Munro who was running back to meet Helen, only to be told '4.75 to go and it's all downhill'.  Damn!  Pauline mentioned she was hoping now to get in under 16.5 hours...and this would mean only about 45mins to get this done.  Tougher than it sounds when we'd already run 67miles!

The hardest bit was the steeper descent after the wee loch, and my legs were buckling under me, I knew we were dropping speed and this was impacting Pauline's goal, but she was happy to continue with me, and so I really tried to put everything into it. "We are at the D of End" she said..."D of death" said I...."but with a little d" was her reply.  I tried to channel some of her sister Fiona Rennie's strength, and I think that helped me, as it always does!

I also wasn't really sure where the finish was...I knew we finished on the track, but imagined we entered the stadium where I had during the marathon years ago....round the other side from where we actually did.  I was imagining lots of tarmac and imagining the pain.  My feet were throbbing, I could feel the inside of both heels spongy like they were full of fluid....  Past the SNH building and down the track, into the houses and the rain came on....refreshing I said, and Pauline told it to give us all it had (and it did....!!)....along the golf course, howling gail ensued (with Pauline resorting to some proper bad words!), and still we ran....  To the steps....a little walk up them and regroup Pauline advised...and then onto the canal.  We could see Bill waving from the other side, and Ruth Howie with her usual enthusiastic support whoop whopping us along.

Matching stride after stride....  Was the bridge going to swing open?... (No, it had just closed)....... How close to 16:30 were we? (It went)

We darted between the cars and down the lane.  I was delighted to see the stadium gate was right there...we turned left, and then right onto the track...whoooooooooosh Pauline was away....there would be no second chances on a photo finish!  I gave chase as best I could, and whilst I closed the gap a fair bit, I wouldn't ever have caught her the speed she was going (buoyed by all the cheers of those waiting at the finsh who recognised her distinctive kit and not me!), and she was well deserved to finish ahead of me, as I'd really needed her dragging my ass those last (30?) miles!

Relief, joy, pain.....it was done!!!!  71.7 bloody hard miles, and mostly pretty enjoyable ones!  A great race with a mixed bag of terrain.  And that Brucey bonus of a 1am start to add to the mix!  I admit, the tarmac stretches do nothing for me (although they add to the mental and physical challenge!), but the climbs and trails go a long way to make up for it.  I also personally will try to avoid the bus journey if I'm doing the race again.  People shouldn't underestimate or dismiss this race.  Get it into your 'to do' list!  I think I was 'lucky' this time that I found a buddy in Pauline and that I am pretty bloody minded to get a job done.  I really didn't want a dnf as I felt this was somehow my CCC reprise, being my longest run this year.  And while I didn't ever think of dnf'ing, I would've been much slower had things not turned out the way they did.

After some hugs and chat (and scrounging some more Vaseline from Sean!), I went back round to the campsite for a shower and a mugshot and coffee, and then bundled myself in many layers and headed back round to support those finishers still to come in.  Although the rain got increasingly worse, a hardy wee bunch of us sat and had a few beverages, cheering right through to the valiant final finisher.  By then I was burst....shuffled back round to the van, and tried to sleep it out....with little success (overdosing on caffeine and sugar all day, topped off by prosecco cocktails doesn't make for a restful night!)

The next morning, the race hosts a formal prize giving for all runners (most of whom had stayed) and there was a great crowd.  I struggled a little to hear all the commentary (I seriously think I need to get my hearing tested...since I started flying so much again recently it's been really bothering me) and every finisher received a whisky glass and whisky from BaM, to go with buff, tshirt, goody bag etc already received.  There were lots of spot prizes, and all the marshals got gifts too...quite rightly so...they have a harder job than the runners I think!

I didn't stay for the pub lunch gathering, as I knew I had a long drive home and a holiday to pack for....next year I'll factor that into my plans....
Overall a great event....and I'd definitely do it again...it's a challenge I think I could improve at, given some better focus on my training in the lead up, and now knowing what the whole route entails.   I think it has given me the boot up I needed though to realise I can't just get through on my stubbornness and past experience...I need to dedicate the time, on training and in the diet!

In The Moorings
Photo by Alan Cormack

 


At the start

Descent into Invermoriston
Photo by Lois Simpson



Coming into the last checkpoint
Photo by Fiona Rennie



At the last checkpoint
Photo by Fiona Rennie

 




Photo by Team BAM

Photo by Team BAM

 


Relief!
Photo by Team BAM



Post Prize Giving
Photo by Team BAM

 
 
 

 
 

Counting Stars

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard

Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars

 

 I've been in a bit of a post-race low.  Who'd have known that support crew can feel that way too?  This race is immense and it's a big part of my life.  I don't think a day goes past that I don't think about having run it, the desire to run it again, or just the motivation to be part of the family for a long time to come.

 

This year, things were different.  This year I was support crew, not a name, not a number, not one of the lucky individuals with a racing heart, toe-ing the line in Milnavie at 1am on a Saturday in June.

I could lie, couldn't I, couldn't I

Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive

The pressure I was feeling was still high however.  I had taperitis.  Well, an actual head-cold to be fair.  With two days to go I was tanking myself full of lemsip and paracetamol and praying for breath and sinuses that didn't feel like someone was drilling through them.  As if I wasn't worried enough already about being able to keep up with John, who was aiming for a significant PB, off the back of a cracking amount of training so far this year.

And I'd forgotten to book the Friday off work....so I spent it interviewing graduates (successfully!)...after having a hectic week which included getting the van back, and spending two days travelling/in Manchester for a training course.  Not ideal prep.  But I was 'only' crewing....

So...home from work and some last minute packing, and some dinner...and to bed for a nap!  Surprisingly I managed to get a couple of hours decent sleep.  It was positively weird getting up at 10pm and knowing that was it in terms of proper bed until Sunday night.  There were still kids playing outside!

Old, but I'm not that old

Young, but I'm not that bold

 

More faffing (Clark and I like a faff) and later than planned we hit the road....with a new arrival time at Milngavie of 12:20.....not great, but hoping John and Helen didn't fret and we arrived in time to hear the race briefing and feel the electric atmosphere building (past the random drunk who was heckling....)...and say hello to a few of the usual suspects, and let John and Helen know we were here and ready.

 

John was fairly subdued.  He has Achilles niggles (hence his blog here) and was muttering about not making it past Drymen.  This was not in my weekend plans!!

 

Without much time to ponder it was time for the countdown and the off! I tried to capture a wee video on my phone before it ran out of memory (start video).  It's the first time I've been at the start when I've not been running, and it didn't disappoint!

 

A few more "Hello's" and back to the van with a plan to go to Balmaha.  In my limited wisdom, I made Clark drive us up to Gardabhan (sp) forest car park, and after a minor disagreement we then didn't stay there but headed to Balmaha for a wee hour-ish of shut eye.  Again, pleasantly surprised I actually slept.

 

And I I I I I feel something so wrong

by doing the right thing

 

When the alarm woke us, Helen already had a breakfast stall set up next door, and kindly gave me one of her bacon rolls (I didn't complain!) and we paced about, in the relatively midge-free dawn, watching and waiting.  What a bloody fantastic day weather wise.  The night temperature had been perfect and the sunrise early.  Was I jealous of the runners?  you bet your ass I was!

 

John arrived, and was duly fed, coffee'd, watered and dealt with...not in accordance with his pre-race plan, but I think we coped ok.  I was remembering that feeling being the runner...you come into the check-point and expect the crew to be psychic, knowing what you've spent the last 3 miles thinking about having.....and then wondering why things aren't just all magically there!

 

And that was fine.  Helen and I then went to the midge-fest of Rowardennan and repeated the process, while Clark took the dog for a stroll and had another nap (I think!).  Not sure how happy John was at either checkpoint...but he was still running, and no mention of dropping out, so I took that as a positive!

 

And I I I I I feel something so right

by doing the wrong thing

 

More nap time for the crew...this time at Tarbert, after a wee porridge pot and some coffee.  beautiful spot in the car park overlooking the loch.  Head down, zonked out.  Who said crewing was hard?? (*note, actually, I did say several times during the day that crewing was much harder than running!!)

 

Slightly more fitful sleep...we were getting to the point where times could differ wildly, and didn't want to miss our runner at Bein Glas.  And also, it was getting roasty hot!  As it turns out, by the time we got to BG, spent some time chatting, enjoying the sunshine, prepping for the midges and howfing all the kit to the checkpoint, our timing was immaculate and John came striding in, we sorted him out and off he went.

 

Auchtertyre, and some quality time soaking up the sun, and getting some dog-whispering from Sharon (thanks Sharon!).  We could see the runners were really starting to suffer here, and the pressure would be on for our support running to keep the momentum going.  I started to think about eating to fuel up for my run later....while my cold seemed to be less of an issue (I think being outside helped), I hadn't run since pacing my sis-in-law round her first marathon the week before, and still had the fear that John would be too quick for me, so I couldn't risk being fuel deficient on top of that!

 

And then quickly to Brodies at Tyndrum for ice lollies and some chat and hugs with Loon Dod of Epic Shit Racing fame!

 

Boy, it was hot!

 

With luck at Bridge of Orchy we got a nice parking spot in the middle of the action, and time for a cuppa and some chat and cheering before John, sporting his 'British Tourist in Benidorm' kit came gliding down the hill!

 

Time to unleash the first support runner....care in the community....

 

With two miniatures of malt for Murdo the Magnificent, resplendent on Jelly Baby Hill, off they went to tackle the heat and exposure on the beautiful Rannoch Moor.

 

The benefit of the support runner from crew perspective is that they can often text in updates on progress and 'demands'.  So we knew, by the time the got to us at Glencoe (apparently on schedule but it seemed a long time to me) that John needed to replace lost salts and wasn't feeling tip-top.  So with a slightly longer stop, and a ceremonial vomit at Glencoe (thing that was before I tried him with non-alcoholic beer), we tried to sort him out, ready for me taking on the final stretch of support running...'just a marathon' to Fort William.

 

Now, my patter isn't that great...and John is a man of few words...so this was an interesting challenge.....I lost count of how many times I said 'shall I just shut the **** up?'...and I wasn't even talking that much!  Most of my motivational patter I stole from John when he crewed me from KLL during my first WHW, so he knew what he needed to know already.

 

He did some moaning.  That section from Glencoe to Ault na Feadh is rubbish.  I agree.  Silly route and unnecessary hill, albeit the views were exceptional today!

 

And then there's the Devils Staircase.  OMG.  John shot off like a man possessed.  And my heart rate rocketed, my lungs and legs burned and I knew I just had to suck it up.  About half way he paused for breath and some water from the stream.  I said some swear words, and then we set off again.  I think I momentarily lead, and then I passed it back to John....wheezing my way to the top.

 

The views were exceptional from the top - in both directions.  I suggested to John he take a look.  He said some swear words. 

 

And then asked if I had fizzy pop. 

 

F***!!!!  Why didn't I pack a can of pop??!!  Support runner FAIL!!!

 

Balls.   It took me some time to work out how to recover that one...and in the interim, Mr Grumpy questioned how long it was going to take us to get down...and had I packed a head torch as it was going to get dark.

 

F***!!!!  I knew it wasn't going to be dark before we got to KLL...but I hadn't packed a torch, just in case.

 

Support runner FAIL!!!!

 

Options?  Just keep trotting on and make runner move his ass faster...(I was ok on the downhills!).  And I think we were within the desired split for this section.

 

This saw us make good progress, and I was able to text in demands for soup, coffee, ice cream to Helen and Clark, waiting at KLL.  Thankfully, they succeeded in every request!  And even had ice cream for me too!

 

All this wouldn't be the same without some more ceremonial vomit to set us up for the final leg....this slowed our departure from KLL down, but that was ok...the midges weren't nearly as bad as they could've been here, and it was still light. 

 

With headtorches ready, and fire in our bellies, knowing, barring major incident we were heading for a PB, we were off.

 

OMG.  John shot up that climb like the possessed man again.  Me?  Repeat of the Staircase...puff, puff, wheeze, MTFU......

 

Still light at the top.  Result.

 

I love this section across the Lairig (moreso in the daylight) and it had been since I did the race last year that I had been on it (didn't tell John that in case I'd forgotten bits!).  We resumed the pattern of me mostly striding ahead, and John following.  My chat was crap.  I stopped asking him if he needed food, as he'd actually (aside from the puking) been consuming quite well (milkshakes, rice puds, custard etc), and he was guzzling at his bottles pretty well.

 

We'd been warned that Jeff of Wilderness Rescue hadn't been able to get to his usual spot, and that was the only downside of this year's race for me, as it has been a great focal point to motivate across the Lairig in the dark - the glow of the torches and the promise of fizzy pop!

 

We had a wee lull when John decided to drink the can of Ginger Beer I'd been carrying...and after I felt he'd been walking maybe a little more that necessary, we chivvied back into a trot, finally reaching Jeff and Patricia, and enjoying a wee juice (I think John also had coffee, but declined a dram).

 

Next stop Lundavra....the promise of the bonfire and some tunes from Gayle (I had a nice wee dance to The Proclaimers).  I finally got a phone signal and sent a text for rice pudding and coffee.... We were quicker/closer than expected, and Helen/Clark were still winging their way up the road.  I may have said some bad words.  John grumbled...and scavenged the table of goodies Gayle had while we waiting for Helen/Clark's arrival...

 

7 to go...and a swift march up the hill.  I had promises to keep and to try and keep well within that PB.  Oh no, a fall!  John caught his foot on something (I'm guessing a rock) and hit the deck.

 

F***!!! Support crew fail!!  Why hadn't I anticipated/seen it?!?!

 

Anyway, he seemed ok (at this stage in the game there was nothing else for it) and we walked it out for a minute or so before setting off at a trot/walk until finally reaching the forest...which seemed an eternity away!

 

Every thing that kills me

Makes me feel alive!

 

And then.....we started picking off bodies...a few zombies in the dark (apologies people we passed, you were all probably moving very well!), and a wee boost with each one....I certainly took the energy from this and was hoping John did too!  The steps in the woods went fine, and then we could see the final climb to the fire road...and a few more bodies to pick off (after another heather root induced tumble).

 

We were there.  I had a wee tear.  It was in the bag.  I love that feeling....3 ish miles to go and mostly downhill....you can do it.....the goblet is almost in your hands.

 

A support runner asked us how far, as her running wobbled a little with the change of gradient and terrain.  "You've done it, 3 miles, mostly downhill.  You've done it."

 

We breathed some big, deep, lung filling breaths.  "Ready?  Let's do this!"

 

And we did....whoooooooooosh......if John was strong up those big climbs, he found something else for this last bit...  A 9:45 mile for the first....John:"I think I should ease up a bit".....Me:"Ok".  So a 9:33 for the next one (along that drag to Braveheart which seems to never come).

 

I started texting Helen to tell her we were coming....Text, text......puff...wheeze....sh**.....was I going to be able to keep up..... Onto the tarmac (maybe I should just let him go)....there's the 30MPH sign (just let him go)......the hedges....the lights of the leisure centre....

 

And we're done!  With a final mile of 8:50ish John blasted through the finish line and took over two hours off his PB!  Fantastic and well deserved result, and another goblet for his collection!

 

I see this life, like a swinging vine

Swing my heart across the line

In my face is flashing signs

Seek it out and ye shall find

 

Many more tears over the next 24/36/48 hours...in fact several times this week I've been close, often in public places!  Reading the runners blogs and videos brings it all back.  From the start, to during the race, right through to the prize giving (seeing Norma receive her first goblet as a finisher aged 64 was a total tear-jerker).  I saw friends battle, rejoice and break-down.  And saw it from a totally different perspective this year.

 

Crewing is bloody hard work.  There's pressure and worry and some lack of control.  You never know what your runner will want or is thinking or how you might cope if they talk of dropping out.  How do you motivate them, or know what might be the right or wrong thing to say?  And how do you keep your energy levels right so you are ready to run when it's your stint to support?  it was a pleasure to be part of John's race, and experience a side to the race I've not seen before.

 

This race is in my soul.  And I'll be back.  Targeting 2018 for my next luck of the draw in the ballot, and until then, more crewing, or massaging, or something!

 

Bloody well done to everyone who got to the start line, and to those who received the cherished goblet.  Just over 1,000 all time finishers.  A galaxy of stars.

 

See you next year!

 

 

 

 

 

 



A race of two halfs

Doing another race so soon after the Fling isn't necessarily the smartest move, and would go against all standard training and recovery guidelines.  I'd heard such good things about the course, from others who had recce'd the route last year, and with this being the first year of this new addition to the BAM stable (www.runyabam.com), organisers of Glen Ogle, Great Glen and Glenmore, it was too hard to resist as I knew it would be a well-organised and friendly affair.
And it certainly didn't disappoint!

Photo by Chen/Running in Scotland

A few people opted to wild camp the night before, and while this was tempting, with a civilised 9:30am start time, I decided to drive across in the morning (even with Google Maps telling me it was a 2 hour drive, given the single track winding road all the way from Killin!)

The course is 2 laps.  I'd half believed the first lap, which was a highly runnable loop around Loch Lyon was longer (c17/18 miles) but on the day, Garmin clocked it at about 15.5m.


With Sharon and Jeni (race winner!)

Thus, the second, and infinitely more challenging loop, which headed off into the glen, was actually slightly longer.  In traditional BAM style, the route was billed as 30 miles, and I clocked in at 31.7m at the finish line!  (and thus my pre-race forecast of 6hours was slightly out....only by about 4/5 minutes!)

The first climb!

Once you leave Killin, heading to Bridge of Balgie and beyond, all thoughts of civilisation are gone!  There's a clear reason the race control need a satellite phone!!  I didn't get signal again until I was back on the road home.  A true day of escapism!

Once I got through the scary drive across the Ben Lawers road, parking was fine (off road, and as conditions had been dry (and I have a 4x4 so shouldn't worry) no issues with getting a space or sinking.

My nerves were quite high compared to how I had felt for last week's fling. I think the 'fear' of the unknown a key contributor, as I really had no idea what the terrain or course were like.  Thankfully there were sufficient porta-loos and wilderness!

Another bonus for this race is that there is no big restriction on your drop bags, as you run back (across the dam) and through base camp between loops, so there was the option to change kit (the first lap has several interesting river crossings (at least one of which was thigh deep yesterday!)).  Can't wait to see the photos and will edit one in!  Inevitably, I didn't change any kit, nor eat half the stuff I had packed when I actually got there!

So, after a brief briefing....during which Bill asked if we could all swim, given the risk assessment had to include danger of drowning.....we were off.  A short tarmac descent and then onto a steady climb up along landrover track and this separated us out pretty quickly.  My plan was to just bimble along and see how I felt.

This doesn't do the views justice

The trail around Loch Lyon is highly runnable and I was making decent progress.  As it transpired, we also had a beneficial tail wind most of the way out!  Thus the return back towards the dam was somewhat more challenging, into the wind!

The weather was fairly settled and warm, and within a couple of miles, I'd rolled the sleeves down, and several people were peeling off layers!  I'd pretty much worn the same as last week, aside from swapping shorts for skort.

I was conscious of not trying to push on too much and risk burn out or injury.  There were quite a few of us there who had run the Fling the week before, so not alone in being one to take a risk.  My body felt ok, not too niggly and not overly tired.  I hadn't done any real training in the week (just an easy hungover couple of miles on Thursday morning in London).

'I can see the fkn steep
path from here'
(Photo by Lois)

What seemed too quickly we were back crossing the dam....the tarmac/coating felt decidedly sticky after the nice track around the loch!  A fanny around in transition, aided by Mairi Fox and then off onto the next loop.  This started with the same short downhill, but followed by what seemed like 1.5 miles of climb!  I admit, I wasn't loving the tarmac at this point but kept my ultra-march going and had some chat with Mark about CCC along the way.  Also had the pleasure of seeing James Stewart powering up the hill towards his epic finish (I'd only run about 19 miles at this point and he only had 2/3 to go!!).

Arriving at the next water station, where Lois was in charge of the troops and pointed me in the right direction...while re-assuring me that the REALLY steep path I could see on the other side of the glen wasn't where I was headed!  And she was telling the truth!

This loop was definitely more challenging and this 'out' section felt like a long gradual climb (with fantastic mountain views again).  There was then a gravelly descent (which my knees didn't like too much) and the return through the glen was relatively flat and, had it not been for the head wind, and tiredness, runnable.  A few people passed me on this loop, and I passed a few others.

I caught up with Sharon and Brigette on this return stretch, and after chatting for a while, moved away slightly, and made a wee bit better progress on THE HILL.   OOOOOFT!  That is some climb back up out of the glen, and seemed to go on forever!

I tried to get some more fuel in at this point, downing the remains of my coke, and having another mini mars bar (I suspect once again I probably hadn't eaten enough early on).  I was grateful to see Lois and the aid station half-way up, and get a top up of my water. 

Marching up the climb
Photo by Lois

Finally, after more marching, I was over the top, and knowing there was about 2 miles of descent to the finish.  Hard to get the shuffle back on, and my ankles were protesting a little, but finally got the momentum (downhill roll) and a view of the finish line!

A cheeky wee final climb...can't.stop.now....and then a resounding whooping and clapping from the marshals and finishers/supporters and it was done!  6hrs 4mins and some seconds and 31.8miles.  Job done!

As with all BAM events, there is a great haul of goodies for finishers - medal, functional t-shirt, buff, snacks (with tasty Nairns goodies, Tunnocks wafers and Irn Bru!), Thistly Cross race cider.  I was a little too slow to get soup - the hungry early finishers had scoffed it all, but had a couple of mugs of strong black coffee!

Was pleased to hear Jeni had won the ladies race - what an epic year she is having, and the training never seems to stop!  And on the back of running the fling last week too!

Overall a fabulous race - good course, well organised, good support, cheery marshals, great 'rewards' and the conditions were pretty perfect yesterday.  I think this would be a great step up for those looking for their first ultra, as well as a good challenge for those with more experience.  I have no doubt this race will go from strength to strength and would anticipate a sell-out next year!

Great work BAM!

Garmin results here
6hrs 4m 11s
Ave pace 11:29min/mile